Rebrand Early, Rebrand Often

Hi kids. Robby here. I used to be a toaster. Then a logo. Then a cautionary tale in a marketing ethics seminar. Now I'm a shirt. And soon, you can wear me.

Introducing the Robby the Rebrand Robot Youth Shirt-a soft, wearable onboarding experience for the next generation of brand disciples.

Parents, we see you. You want your kid to be unique-but also on-brand. You crave individuality, but in a way that aligns with our quarterly goals. This shirt is your compromise. It says, "I love my child, but I also respect the hustle."

So go ahead. Dress your kid in Robby. Let them become part of the Only RCs narrative. And when they ask what "brand trauma" means, just smile and say, "It builds character." 

Buy now. Before they start asking questions.